Thursday, May 29, 2014

Never Alone.

I think it is so important to have genuine, wonderful people in your life. It's more important than money, it's more important than a successful career. At least to me it is.

It's been a stressful couple of weeks for me. Okay, it's been a stressful couple of months for me. I feel like I'm still trying to adjust to the industry I work in - I'm constantly trying to find new strategies, new ideas, new ways for people to tell me 'yes,' or at least get them to give me a straight up 'no.' I rarely get a pat on the back of a job well done, and that isn't something I'm used to. It's frustrating and disheartening at times, and I know that there isn't much I can really do about it.

What gets me through the day is knowing that I don't have to face all of my crazy days alone. I'm surrounded by my friends and family who motivate me. I have my wonderful boyfriend who inspires me to push through, work hard and be the best that I can be. To me, personal relationships have always been more important than making money. And maybe that will change eventually. But I sure hope it doesn't. XO

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Barefoot blue jean nights ahead!


My sister is an outdoor enthusiast. And no, I don't mean she's outdoorsy in the sense that there's nothing she loves more than a good hike. Having said that, she's always down for a hike, but I digress.

What I mean is that she probably spends more than half of her day on her patio, will always opt for outdoor seating at a restaurant, bar or cafe, etc. I used to find this borderline annoying, but as I'm getting older, I'm discovering how much of an outdoor enthusiast I am.

Lately I've noticed how often I'd rather sit outside when I go out to eat, when I grab a drink at Starbucks or a fro-yo with my boyfriend. I've especially noticed how excited I am to decorate my outdoor patio at my new apartment. I've been actively pinning my favorite ideas (surprise, surprise) here and here. I even bought this bad boy last weekend:

Half the ideas on my "Perfect Garden" board are out of reach for a rented patio, but these are some of my favorites:







I love the idea of an outdoor rug. I think it's an easy way to make a small space look homey. Having said that, rugs aren't exactly a cheap thrill, so we'll see where I'm at on funds with that. I think the wine bottle lighting is an awesome idea - these are obviously pictured inside, but I think it would be cuter in an outdoor space. I'm also really into gardening lately...okay, so I have one succulent and a growing tomato plant which slightly resembles weeds. But anyway, growing an herb garden in mason jars sounds like the perfect DIY project. 

I'm so excited to see how everything comes together! Here's to plenty of summer nights on the patio! XO











Friday, May 23, 2014

The Semi-Annual Swim Suit Sob Fest.



Learning to be comfortable with myself and my body is probably one of the biggest struggles I have....along with millions upon millions of girls and women across the globe. No surprise here: we can't all look like Victoria's Secret models. Or maybe we can, but we like cupcakes and margaritas just a little too much to give them up.

When I was 18 going on 19, I started losing weight. It wasn't necessarily a "decision" to get healthy; it was challenging myself to go to the gym or go running almost every day. I didn't let myself have excuses. I remember it was 40 degrees out one night (if you speak fluent Floridian, that's the equivalent of 15 degrees) and I bundled up in a long sleeve shirt, a sweatshirt, a hat, leggings and sweatpants, and I took my happy ass out for a three mile run around campus. I stopped drinking soda and eating crap and the weight melted off. It was such a shock for my body to start consuming healthy foods and wayyyy less sugar, I think it kind of went into panic mode.

Twenty five pounds down was my lowest weight and my happiest - of course I still wanted to be thinner, but I plateaued and kind of stopped caring. I fluctuated. I still fluctuate. Since my lowest weight, I've gained ten pounds. Not everyone can see it, but I can feel it, and that's the worst feeling.

Tonight I tried on a few swim suits I ordered from Victoria's Secret online. I tried a couple different styles that were a little out of my comfort zone. Some Brazilian cuts, a string bikini top, etc. I looked in the mirror and I'm going to be honest: I wanted to cry.

Maybe it's my birth control shot. Maybe it's because I just came back from dinner. Maybe it's because I'm delirious after a 12 hour work day. I just felt awful about myself. I didn't like the way anything fit, I didn't like how I felt in anything.

I took them all off and tried to adjust my mentality. Not every swim suit style is going to look great on me. Sure, I'm known for my booty [sorry, not sorry], but that doesn't mean that a brazilian cut swim suit is going to fit my body perfectly. I don't have boobs - string bikini tops do nothing for girls with no boobs (and girls who aren't thin/super fit).

And you know what? That's fine. That's perfectly fine.

I'm not going to say that I had a sudden rush of confidence, because I didn't. I still told myself that I need to stop making excuses and just go to the gym and eat better. But I also told myself that it's okay to have bad days; it's okay to only look good in full bottom swim suits and push up tops.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this. I guess what I'm trying to say is, while I would 100% love to be Karlie Kloss - I am not. I never will be. But with true determination and hard work, I can be the best version of myself. I just want to be comfortable...and while it isn't always an easy journey, it is a journey that will forever be worth the trek. XO



















Thursday, May 22, 2014

Sowwy, guys.

For the few of you who actually read this bad boy on the regular, I'm sorry my posts have been so sporadic lately. Half the time (at least this week...month end, my fave!) I'm utterly consumed with work, or running errands, spending time with friends/family/Ryan, etc. 

...the other half? I just have no idea what to write about. I don't know what's worth writing about, or what people would care about. 

I guess that's kind of the cool thing about blogging - it's not for anyone else. I don't expect to ever make money from this blog. I don't expect to become a famous blog. Hell, I don't expect more than five people to view this blog per day. I write here (and in my own personal journal) so I can remember later how I felt, what I thought, or what I wanted in the past. 

So here's to not caring! I don't know what I want to post about, but I know I want to post more often. That's a start, right? XO


Monday, May 19, 2014

So much to make it better this Monday!



Another weekend has come and gone and while I thought I was mentally prepared for work this week, this particular Monday is giving me second thoughts. At least I had a great weekend (see above picture of a mimosa...need I say more?), so I can't be too down today. Plus, I have loads of things to look forward to this week to "make it better." Ya know? 

  1. Zumba tonight! I had to skip it last week, so I'm excited to shake it tonight. I'm really going to miss going every Monday night when I move. My instructor really is the bomb dot com; other Zumba classes don't even compare. Trust me, I've tried.
  2. I'm taking my mom to get pedicures tomorrow night as a late Mother's Day gift. I think I need to start making professional pedicures a biweekly expense. I wear heels to work almost every day and it's taking a toll on my poor leetle feet. 
  3. I'm going to my second Rays game of the year with my dad Wednesday night. It's his office's game night out, and he gets excited to show me off. He's such a fruit loop. I love me some baseball, so I'm pumped!
  4. This weekend, Ryan and I and a couple of our friends are heading down to Venice Beach for a beer festival. Initially I was a little disappointed about missing a margarita festival in our own city, but I got over that in about two minutes. I'm so excited to spend Memorial Day weekend out at the beach with some really great people.
Toooo much to look forward to this week, and Monday's already almost over! Crossing my fingers for a speedy week, lots of sales, and another sigh of relief come Friday afternoon. XO



















Friday, May 16, 2014

Friday Friday Friday.

My favorite things about Friday:

-Waking up with an extra pep in my step, knowing I only have eight to nine hours left until the weekend. I can change into my Casual Friday clothes with ease instead of fumbling with buttons and tucking and blazers and heels. Flat sandals and a maxi skirt for me, please and thank you.
-We break out the wine at the office. No, really. Around 3 o'clock, you'll find some of the managers with open bottles of wine on their desks.
-The relief of stress knowing I hit my goals that week. Well, this week. This week is really the only week I've hit my goals in awhile. I'm still behind (oh, the joy of sales), but it's a step in the right direction for me.
-That feeling of getting into my car, shutting the door, and knowing that I don't have to think about work or anything work related for the next 64 hours or so. Most Fridays I head over to Ryan's, so I start thinking about what we'll make for dinner, or if we'll go out, if I can get a margarita wherever we go out...basically I start thinking excessively about food and margaritas.

Here's to a great, ssssllllooowwwww weekend. Right? Right. XO

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

If I never hear the word 'couch' again, that'll be fine.


It's borderline embarassing how addicted I am to finding a living room set for my new apartment. It consumes probably 65 percent of my thoughts throughout the day. What do I spend the other 35 percent thinking about? Eh, who knows. Work? Ryan? Margaritas? I should start keeping better track.

ANYWAY. My issue is that I have unrealistic ideals for my living room. You can thank Pinterest for that. In a perfect world, I'd like a gray sectional couch with a tall back (NOT a back rest made up of pillows) and deep set cushions...you know, something I can actually curl up in - not just sit in.

Welllll, I haven't had the best of luck. Any gray sectionals I've found and liked are close to $2,000 or more, and the top of my budget is about $1,500. Even that is pushing it. 

So now I'm expanding my horizons. I'm looking into brown. Dark brown, light brown, tan, taupe. And now a whole new can of worms has been opened and my Apartment Ideas board has been bombarded with color schemes around a brown couch, thus turning my inspiration upside down. First World Problems, right?










I'm telling you - someone needs to take my iPad away from me. The Pinterest app is TOO addictive! I'll let you guys know when I decide...at this point, I'll probably just throw my hands up and end up with a pile of pillows on the floor instead. XO

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Summer time, I love ya.

Post-acadamia life is crazy. One second it's 7:30 a.m. Monday morning and it feels like your feet are tied to cinderblocks getting out of bed; then you blink and it's Friday afternoon. Every. Single. Week. Time flies when you're having fun (and even when you're not).

It's impossible to make time stand still, so I think it's important to make every day count. I'm the kind of person who always needs something to look forward to - otherwise life becomes this monotonous routine of eat, sleep, work, work, sleep, eat, work, work, work...work? Okay, great, you get the picture. If I don't have something to count down the days for, I'll go nucking futs.

Thankfully it's summer, which means there's SO much to look forward to: paid days off, vacations, weekends on the beach. Here's what's going on with me the next couple of months:


  • May 24th - Tampa's Margarita Festival. Um, hello? Day drinking margaritas all day in a sundress on a hot summer day in Florida? Sign. Me. Up.
  • May 26th - Memorial Day, aka paid day off of the summer #1. 
  • June 9th - Kaylee and I can officially move into our new apartment. Since move-in day falls on a Monday, I don't think June 9th will be "the day" but we get the keys and we get to paint! 
  • June 24th - Oh heyyyyy, it's my birthday. The big 23. And no, I will not be annoying anyone with a caption that reads "Nobody likes you when you're 23." I think that was played out after the first person who wrote it.
  • June 26th - 30th - NYC with Ryan to visit his sister! I haven't been to New York in almost two years, and I've never been during the summer months. We'll be staying in Brooklyn and Long Island, and then probably one night in the city. Five days and four nights, can't waiiiiitttt.
  • July 4th - Hello, it falls on a Friday this year, aka I get a three day weekend. Most likely on the beach. With hot dogs.
I'm hoping to jam pack my calendar a little more, but this is a pretty good start. Can't wait to see what the summer has in store. XO

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Gettin' cheesy because I'm feelin' cheesy.


I love you for your kindness - in your eyes, in your actions and in your heart. I love you for your mind - your hunger for learning, for traveling, for doing. I love you for your dedication - to your job, to your dog (ahem, human), to me. I love you for your quirks - your awful jokes, your addiction to fantasy baseball, your inability to eat leftovers after three days. I love you for everything you do for me - when you give me a piggy back ride to my car a mile away in the pouring rain,  when you bring home cookie dough and wine from the grocery store, when you when all you want to do is make me happy. You're so much more than you give yourself credit for, and I can't help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world that I get to call you mine. Thank you for all that you do for me, and all that you are. XO


Monday, May 5, 2014

Onward and outward!

                                  
                            
Okay, it's official. Kaylee and I signed our lives away to my first big-girl apartment (and by big-girl apartment, I mean an unfurnished apartment #studentlivingprobs) (I'll never hashtag in a blog post again).

ANYWAY. After a lot of going back and forth, wanting to save money but wanting my own space, we asked ourselves, "if not now, when?" and took the leap! Thankfully we both have really good credit, so fees were minimal. I was a bit nervous about a reservation fee/signing fee/deposit/etc., but so far there's been no surprises.

You bessssst believe I've been blowing up my Pinterest boards after the move became official. How could I not? I'm so excited to buy my own furniture and create my own little space. I even found myself thinking, "I wish I didn't have to wait another month to move out."

I stopped myself there.

I find that I spend too much time wishing time away. Wishing for Friday, for a weekend trip, for a vacation. Yeah, moving out is gonna be great; being closer to my boyfriend and to work will be awesome...but to be honest, I'm going to miss living with my parents. I'm going to miss coming home from a long day at work to a kettle of hot tea. I'm going to miss eating at the dinner table with them on weeknights and drinking coffee with them on the occasional Sunday morning that I'm home. I know I'm not moving far away or anything (20 minutes...let's get real here), but I want to enjoy every moment I can while I'm still here. After all, this could be the last month that I'm a permanent resident of my parents' house...forever. That's a crazy thought for me!

So here's to breathing in every moment; appreciating everything we can to the utmost extent. It's easier said than done, but I want to enjoy life - not wish it away. XO






Friday, May 2, 2014

Work hard, work harder.

I started this week with a full heart - inspired, motivated, ready to work. As I came into work yesterday morning, I felt myself deflating. I wasn't where I wanted to be, I was short, I was losing hope. I could feel myself getting distracted. I could feel my pipeline of business cards staring at me - laughing, holding rejection above my head. It's silly how inanimate have that kind of effect on me.

It took about a fifteen minute pity party for me to reverse the deflation. I picked up the phone and I started calling. I made conversation. I was politely rejected. I hung up the phone and dialed again. And again. And again. I stopped letting a plastic telephone and a piece of card stock define me, or hold me back for that matter. It was a fleeting 30 minutes with absolutely no luck, but I could feel myself trying.

Genuine success rarely establishes overnight. Whether it's working out, or a career move...it takes time and effort. I figure, as long as I can feel myself trying - really trying my best - then I'm happy. It's never easy, but maybe one day it will be.
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