back to blogging!

Oh, hey. It's been awhile.

I'm normally not one to comment on how long it's been since I've posted, but I feel I owe it to this space, and to my readers, however few and far between.

My goals for this blog have ebbed and flowed over the years. I've had periods of collaboration after collaboration, gifted opportunities, hosted meals, occasional pay. When I first started, I was in the midst of a sales job, on the brink of quitting to go to graduate school, and felt like the blogging world was my oyster. And sometimes, it still feels that way!

But over the years, my priorities have shifted. I made my way through grad school, and I'm working four 10-hour days each week. I got engaged, planned a wedding, got married, and we bought a house! I've had a lot going on - a lot worth documenting - but I just haven't felt the same urge to sit down and document it anymore. And that makes me sad to think about, because I love writing! I love sharing! I want to connect with others, and look back on my posts for years to come. Blogging used to be my own way of story telling, and I do miss it.

That being said, new life changes brought on new hobbies, like renovating and decorating our first home. I started making Boom cards for work (think Teachers Pay Teachers, but like an app), which has been a fun way to earn a little extra cash. I've also started passing the time by doing puzzles, watching movies, and reading books. I dream up ideas for blog posts every week with the intention to write one on my days off, and then I don't. 

I've gotten down on myself about blogging in the last year or two. As other local bloggers started making better connections, landing more collaborations, and ultimately working harder than I do, my desire to share started to dwindle. Blogging just to tell my story began to feel silly, to be honest. I was constantly reading about needing to have a niche, needing to provide purpose to my readers, needing to produce more more more, and in truth, I just didn't make the time for that. I didn't want that.

Anddddd, you know what? That's okay! There is no "right way" to blog, especially as a hobby. There is no need to harp on my mindset shift. There might not even be a reason to be like "heeeeey, remember me? I stopped blogging because XYZ." But I do miss sharing my life. I want to post more about our wedding. I want to [finally] post a million pictures from our honeymoon in Hawaii. I want to dive into our home renovation plans, our house buying process, my favorite books, all the things...just not on a timeline. No apologies, no expectations. All fun.

on writing, blogging, and everything in between

YOU GUYS. I MISS BLOGGING. 

More importantly, I miss writing.

I started blogging a long time ago. I've always had a blog in some regard; my fascination of writing about my daily life likely having stemmed from my incessant keeping of a diary or journal throughout my adolescence and into adulthood. My personal, handwritten journals were never properly organized. To this day, I don't care much for bullet journals or organized templates. I wrote about what was happening in my life, how I felt about it, and documented my growth. Heartfelt diary entries aside, I wrote stories as often as I devoured them. I had spiral notebooks filled with "day in the life" stories about my best friends, teenage-hormone driven romance chapters, and song lyrics. I didn't write for anyone else (in fact, to this day, I feel awkward "sharing" my blog posts). I'm not even sure if I wrote "for me" - I wrote because I wanted to tell my story, and to create characters and their background stories.

Fast forward to now, and this blog, and what blogging has become...or should I say what Instagram has become. Where there's a blog, there's a conjoining "influencer" Instagram. On the flip side, where there's an "influencer" Instagram, there isn't always a blog, and to an extent, that's perfectly fine. To be blunt, writing doesn't come naturally to everyone, and there are plenty of popular, full-time "Instagrammer/Bloggers" whose posts I read and I think to myself, "yikes, perhaps it's time to invest in an editor." 

I've put this pressure on myself to become a certain kind of blogger, to be an "influencer," to grow my Instagram following. After all, "that's the dream," right? To be able to create content and get paid handsomely for it. Once you hit the almighty 10k on Instagram, not only do you get the fancy "swipe up" feature, but you also become eligible for 100x more campaigns (most of which rarely require a blog post, mind you) that generally pay pretty big bucks. If you're a shitty person (sorry, not sorry) you can easily buy those followers, because who can tell the difference, right? The true answer to that is nearly everyone, but that's neither here nor there. It can be a lot harder if you're someone who truly enjoys connecting with others, who thinks a curated scroll feed is just as important as a curated Lightroom preset, who is actually in it for the content creation...not simply what you get out of it. 

So we use the "right" hashtags and post at the "right" times, and browse through our explore tabs, and likelikelike commentcommentcomment in hopes of building relationships and gaining an authentic following. And I've seen lots of influencers (some of my friends included!) do this successfully and admirably. They put in the time and effort, hours a day, day in and day out, and it works for them. They get invited to all of the things, and get sent all of the things, and meet all of the people. I think to myself, "why not me?" 

But then I think to myself, "do I even want that?"

I didn't start blogging to review restaurants, or get #sponsored posts (even though it's super cool when I get to do any of that, and I am absolutely thrilled when I do get invited...I'm not one to turn down free margs in exchange for IG content). I am a recent yet semi-active user of Like To Know It, and I try to keep up with local events and posting on Instagram. But when I started blogging in 2013, I'm not sure I was even cognizant of such opportunities. I wasn't in it for extra money, because I was in sales and was already making great money. I was in it because I felt inspired by the bloggers who shared their daily snippets, not just their daily outfits; the ones who shared lightly edited snapshots of their nature walks and talked about their Sunday nights, and their opinions. That's why I started this blog.

I think it'd be unfair to say that I've been trying to squish myself into a lifestyle blogger box, because I've always been happy with the content I've posted. But when I get the urge to write, I want to create stories, to share snippets of my daily routine, to discuss the things I love, in a way that feels like I'm chatting with an old friend, because those are the kinds of things I want to read about. You know?

I actually wrote a variation on this exact post almost two years ago, so hey, at least I'm consistent. I'm not quitting blogging, nor do I think there's going to be a "giant shift" in my content. In a way, this is me telling myself (but also giving you a reminder, if you need it) that it is 100% okay to have a blog just for the sake of writing. 

It's great if you have lofty follower goals and a dream to go full-time, and it's also okay to do it just for fun. I started this blog as a hobby, and maybe that's all it will ever be (never say never, of course). I've always loved writing, and now that I'm out of graduate school, I think I'd like to tap back into writing creatively, even outside the blog. Getting vulnerable here: I'd absolutely love to write a young-adult fiction novel someday. The key, as I'm sure you've heard about many seemingly impossible tasks, is to just start, right?

If you're still here after alllll of that, BLESS YOU. And if you can relate (or even if you can't), drop a comment below, because it'll make me feel a whole lot less self-conscious about baring my soul. 

on blogging | finding a new direction

As of late, I've had a little bit of difficulty with this space - my little corner of the internet. I've had a bit of difficulty with myself as a blogger, period. I don't know my direction anymore, if I even have one at all (or if I ever have...ha!).

When I started this blog in 2014, I was working my first job out of college...a job I once loved that I'd grown to not love. I quickly became obsessed with the blogging world - I discovered BlogLovin', started following my favorite bloggers on Instagram, and thought of a million post ideas a day. I was so inspired by the hundreds of former cubicle dweller turned full-time blogger; I wanted to learn everything I could about it so I could become one, too. I was brand new to it all, and the world felt like my oyster.

So I started writing about my life - little ramblings, personal updates, plans for the upcoming holiday season, opinions, etc. And I wrote all the time. I loved it! In 2014 and 2015, I had upwards of 90 posts per year (as compared to my 43 posts to date in 2017). I never got comments, I rarely ever used quality photos, and there still wasn't a whole lot of planning that went into my content, but I loved doing it...until I started reading posts about "how to monetize your blog! and grow your following! and get 32948 repins!" and I figured out that, as much as I loved writing alllll about my life in my little blog, it wasn't going to grow the way I wanted it to if I didn't start cranking out informational, Pinterest-pinning ready posts. So that's what I started to do, and somehow between now and then, I managed to get a few more readers, a better following on Instagram, and more comments.

But even doing that, three plus years later, I still hardly have much of a following at all. There's no rhyme or rhythm to my content or post consistency. I'm not all that great at "branding myself." I don't even have a Facebook page for my blog because I get so nervous about people I know in real life judging my every word and move (I know I need to get way past that...meep). I guess that, to this day, I still don't feel like what I write here, what I post on Instagram, how I try to portray myself as a writer in general is legitimate enough to promote...and I feel like a bit of a "blog failure" because of it. And I know, I know, that's all on me.

BUT.

Anyway. 

I'm rambling myself into a rabbit hole here - back to my direction (or lack thereof). I suppose I feel like I run into a few problems with this one. Even after all this time, I'm having trouble finding my "niche":

I love fashion bloggers, but I don't consider myself one. Primarily because I'm lucky if I can coordinate shorts and a tank top with a pair of sandals that don't make my legs look like pork sausages. That, and I don't have much of a disposable income for new clothing right now. That, and I am so lazy about taking good blogger photos that aren't glasses of wine with a pretty background. Props to all my blogger pals who style cutie outfits, pick a destination, and shoot looks because you are far more ambitious souls than I.

I'm in graduate school, but I don't consider myself to be a college blogger. While I still love and follow so many college bloggers, I fall into a much different role than most of them. For some reason, even at 26, I love reading about "must-haves" for your first college dorm - but it doesn't really make sense for me to write those kinds of things.

...and while we're on that topic, I don't think the blogger world needs one more list about how to become a morning person. Or, at the very least, no one needs to hear about that from me (everyone else can keep those coming, though - maybe one day I'll catch on).

As I mentioned, I'm not super consistent with my content, which is actually the number one rule of blogging: be consistent. Because there's small part of me, a tiny voice inside my head, that screams at me every time I publish a post, "what's the point? does anyone really care what you have to say? not so much, dude." So sometimes I just don't write. If I think it's something other people wouldn't want to read, I throw it out. And that's the last thing that blogging should be about. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's rule number two of blogging: blog for yourself. And if I'm blogging for myself, I want to look back and remember moments, feelings, personal events, small victories, big triumphs, powering through frustrations. I want to look back on these posts and be able to live vicariously through my past self. That's what I want from this blog...even if that doesn't get me sponsorships or 100 new readers a week.

Because at the end of the day, I love writing. I just think that what I'm finally realizing and owning up to is what I don't love writing about. I don't love writing about how you can "become a better person if you just do XYZ." I don't love writing about my favorite new cardigan or what I bought from the Nordstrom anniversary sale (no hate, though - I love reading those posts! I'm just not a fan of writing them myself). I love writing pieces that people can connect with - stories, little bits about daily living, etc. Does that make sense? Am I still rambling at this point?

From the beginning, I've been pretty honest with you guys, so I wanted to give a heads up as to where my mind has been lately, so here it is. Maybe my "direction" is just a new direction. Things might change around here a little bit...or they might not. Maybe my content won't be all that different at all. Maybe I'll just finally be okay with being a person who has a blog vs. being a full-time blogger (for now anyway...ha).

Has anyone else ever felt this way about blogging before? Am I a crazy person? Does this make any sort of sense at all? Asking for a friend.

6 Ways to Get Out of Your Blogging Rut.

School aside, I feel like my brain has been in a real rut lately. My creative juices aren’t flowing. I can’t think of anything I care enough to write about, or even anything I think someone else would care to read about. I think bloggers and writers go through this more often than we care to admit, but when I’m going through a creative rut, I’ve found these quick tips help me regain purpose and focus:

·      Plan your content ahead of time. Writing up a blog post on a whim is my specialty, but it isn’t the best way to go about keeping this baby current. I feel like most bloggers are already on top of this (unlike myself), but planning content ahead of time gives you the leeway to write a quality post versus something you threw together in 45 minutes (guilty).

·      Make an idea web. Like elementary school style. Write down words and ideas that feel relevant to you in this moment. Emotions, directions, places you want to go, where your worry comes from, where your stress comes from, where your happiness stems from, your biggest fear, your biggest hope, your biggest “what if.” See what you can come up with and go from there.

·      Use Microsoft Word instead of your blogging platform. Personally, I don’t find Blogger to be the least bit inspiring. Something about a blank Word document feels so much better to me than writing in a small box within an internet browser.

·      Or a journal. If you keep a personal journal, use previous entries to spark post ideas. Obviously what I write down into my journal is a lot more revealing than anything I’d like to post on the internet, but it’s a start.

·      There’s an app for that. There are hundreds of apps targeted to writers, from brainstorming to plot twist ideas and motivational catch phrases. When you’re in a creative rut, nearly anything helps.

·      Simply start writing and don’t censor anything. Also known as a “brain Just stare at your keyboard and start typing. Use punctuation, or don’t. Don’t worry about spelling, don’t think about stringing together artfully crafted sentences – this isn’t meant for anybody else, just for you. Set a timer for yourself, or just write until you’re fresh out of thoughts.

Have you ever found yourself in a creative rut? What do you do to get yourself writing again?