A List of Happy, Pt. 7

When the white lights on my spindly Christmas tree twinkle every so often in the corner of the living room while I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas...while drinking a milkshake because it was 80 degrees here Friday night. 

Snuggling my pup, only to hear him snoring in my face three minutes later. 

Teaching said pup how to lay down on command. 

Splitting a mini bottle of pink champagne with my roommate at 12 a.m. on a Monday night. 

Being able to watch the Victoria's Secret with an appreciation for the women who worked so hard to get where they are. 

Getting to see my boyfriend for the first time in a week tonight. And it just so happens to be his 28th birthday. 

Setting real, attainable goals for myself; not just for the new year, but for every day leading up to it. 

XO

Finding my passion

I see quotes plastered over Instagram and Pinterest to "Work Hard, Follow Your Dreams, Follow Your Passion, It Can Happen, It Will Happen," blah blah blah. I've always kind of disregarded those, mostly because I have no idea what my "dream" is. I don't know what I want to work hard for. Money? Maybe. Ultimately, I don't know what my passion is.

The last couple of weeks, I've done a lot of self-reflection and soul searching. And by reflection and soul searching, I mean I've been calling myself out on my own crap and trying to figure out what to do about it. I was talking over hot tea with my mom yesterday afternoon, and openly admitted in my out loud voice that my whole life, I've always kind of expected good things to fall into my lap. 

When I was young and desperately wanted to become an actress, I went to acting classes and tried out for a couple of plays and thought that would be enough. I didn't actively study the craft; I didn't watch old films, or spend hours researching method acting. I just wanted it, did the bare minimum, and expected it to be enough. In college, I knew I didn't want to go to graduate school, so I settled for B's instead of striving for A's. Working as a server, I knew I didn't want to become a manager for the restaurant, so I didn't pick up extra shifts or do extra work. 

I'm painting myself to be an overall lazy person, and to be honest, I'm really not. I do exactly what I'm asked, when I'm asked. When a task calls for hard work, I work hard. But I guess I'm not entirely sure what I'm striving for, what I'm working for. I've never set any real goals for myself, mostly because I don't believe I would actually obtain them. That's a pretty sad thing to admit, but I guess that's the first step to progress right? I'll keep ya posted on that. 

Happy Monday! XO

No boyfriend?! What am I to do?

HA, made you look.

I am still dating my boyfriend. Not a rough patch in sight!

However, this weekend, he is celebrating his best friend Corey's bachelor party in Key West (or he's trying to, anyway - he's actually quite sick in Fort Myers now, but that's another story). Thus, leaving me to my own defenses for the first weekend in probably months! 

Before you peg me as one of those girls who can't stand to be without her boyfriend, think again. While I miss him a bit already, I'm actually excited to get a few things done that have been on my to-do list for awhile, see a friend or two, and maybe even go to the beach. Because, you know, that's a thing in Florida. You go to the beach in December because it's still 80 degrees outside.

This weekend, I fully intend to:

• Clean my room from top to bottom. Put away all of my clothes, dust all the shelves, do all the things. And my bathroom. It will be pristine come Sunday night.
• Plant a new herb garden. I tried to be as Pinterest as possible when I first moved in, growing some basil and oregano in cute little mason jars. Alas, that project has proved to be a fail, and I already bought and painted new planters. 
• Go to the beach and quench my craving for summer. 
• Finally get into the holiday spirit, decorate a Christmas tree, and watch a holiday themed movie or two.

It sounds like a thrilling weekend, I know. I can hardly contain my excitement. But let's get real, I plan on throwing in a margarita or three. Maybe even a mimosa. Regardless, I fully intend to make this weekend without Ryan a productive and fun one, so I won't have as much time to miss him. Hope everyone has a great weekend! XO

Enough.

My parents are famous for their "looks." I don't mean how attractive they are (but let's get real, aren't they?). I mean those looks. The "Don't make me turn this car around," or even "So help me God, if you don't stop doing XYZ, you will not live to see tomorrow." A bit overdramatic, but when I was losing my mind via temper tantrum, these key phrases usually got me to sit down and shut up. 

More than any other assembly of fighting words, there was one word - just one - that stopped me in my tracks. Maybe it was the sideways glance and the dagger eyes that accompanied the one devil word, but I knew that when I heard it, it was time to stop blubbering:

"Enough."

Growing up, getting into and out of relationships, jumping from job to job through college, there has been too many instances when I tolerated too much. When I would call my mom crying every day, when I would come home with a pit in my stomach - when I kept telling myself "it'll get better, it'll get better" - I should have just whipped around and said, "You know what? Enough." 

As I get older, I'm getting better at it. I'm learning to stand up for myself, and more importantly, when to stand up for myself. I'm figuring out when I need to bite the bullet and fake a smile, swallow my pride and move on. More often than not, I take the high road. But sometimes, I think taking the high road is letting the world, or even just one person, know that it's not okay. I think the higher road is letting someone know when you've just had enough. XO

Welcome, December!

It's December! Like many people, it's safe to say that the holidays are one of my favorite parts of the year. It's crazy to think that Halloween and Thanksgiving have already come and gone, and all that's left to celebrate is Chrismukkah (I grew up half-Jewish, dontcha know) and New Years....and then it'll be 2015. Unreal.

I have officially put away my pumpkin candles and Fall decorations in exchange for gold tinsel, sparkly lights, and a menorah. Later this week I'll be putting up my Christmas tree, and I've already started burning my holiday wreath candle. I've even subjected myself to a few Christmas movies. The holiday spirit is in full force, and with time flying by as quickly as it has been lately, I'm trying to soak in every moment before it flashes by in an instant.

Between a good friend's wedding, Ryan's birthday, and our official one year anniversary, December looks like a promising month. I can't wait for holiday parties (and cookies!), champagne toasts, and finding the perfect gifts for my favorite people.

Happy Monday, everybody. Try not to let it get the best of you. XO