Why I Hate the Word "Basic."

Basic.

I've grown to hate this term, but like most millennials, I use it all the time.

"Don't mind me, just bein' a basic bitch with my pumpkin spice latte in September."
"Staging a photo for Instagram? You're so basic."
"You mean to tell me you like wearing yoga pants and going to Pure Barre and taking 'candid' pictures and listening to Taylor Swift? AND you have a lifestyle blog? BASIC."

I'm sorry. SORRY THAT I LIKE POPULAR THINGS.

But really. What is it with society and deeming those who enjoy universally liked things as "basic"? Am I the only one who gets borderline offended? It's like telling someone their interests and thoughts and feelings are unauthentic.

Maybe it hits me hard because growing up, I listened to Hilary Duff, Britney Spears, and the Backstreet Boys; I didn't start listening to the Beatles at seven years old and I had zero desire for the majority of my parents' "throwback jams." I watched the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon until I was 16, and I've never had an 'unnatural' color in my hair. I've never spent my time in old record stores, or feeling like no one really understood me. As I've gotten older, I still prefer top 40 to most underground bands. I drink white wine instead of red, and you'll never catch me with a whiskey anything. I've never seen Breakfast at Tiffany's, and I don't think of myself as an old soul. And I'm not hating on people who do/have done all these things. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

Growing up, I've always wanted to be that kind of girl - different, edgy, intriguing. The kind of girl you read about in books. The kind of girl who orders whiskey waters and spends her time reading classics in the back of a used book store and discovering new music no one else has ever heard of. I wanted to be the kind of girl who can dye her hair a different color every other week and absolutely love it.

But I'm not.

I make an ugly face every time I take a sip of any kind of whiskey drink. The excessive use of semi colons in old time fiction bothers me to no end, and I really, really love Spotify and my wireless bluetooth speaker. And frankly, I'll never have the guts to dye my hair violet or pink or even red.

As I'm getting older, I'm finally realizing that it's okay. It's okay to be myself. It's okay to like pumpkin everything, to order all my swim suits from Victoria's Secret, to count down the days until the next Taylor Swift album comes out. It's also okay to not to any of those things, because that's what makes us all different. Maybe to some people it looks like I'm conforming, but you know what? I like what I like, and I'm over feeling stupid about it.

And on that note,

HAPPY PUMPKIN EVERYTHING SEASON, BITCHES!

Oh, how times have changed.

Five months ago today was my last day working in sales at my first post-graduate job. It was my last day of comfortability, and my last day of a cush paycheck. It was one of the last times I went to Starbucks as a "work break," and the last time I sat in a cubicle next to my best friend. 

Five months later, I'm sitting in a Starbucks, finishing up my phonetics homework. I'm counting the number of phonemes in words and memorizing the International Phonetic Alphabet, and then moving on to start outlining chapter one of Essentials of Audiology. 

I work about four days a week to pay for rent and gas and the occasional margarita, and I've drained my savings account to about half-full (not half empty!...heh) on tuition and books and parking permits. I'm starting to stress about letters of recommendations and observation hours, and I have about 3958284 to-do lists scattered between my planner, my notebooks, and random Excel documents. 

In short, I am losing my mind...but I'm exactly where I want to be. 

If I think about everything I need to accomplish and everything I want to do between now and the end of the semester, I want to cry a little bit. Okay, I do cry a little bit. It's really overwhelming and stressful and feels damn near impossible. 

Once I talk myself out of a mental breakdown, I'm really proud of myself. I don't like to pat myself on the back often, but I like to think what I'm doing is kind of brave. It's like scrolling through all your "inspirational quotes" you've posted on Pinterest over the years and being like, "hey, yeah, I'm doing that. I'm pursuing a dream. I'm taking small steps every day. I'm making goals and plans and doing all the things." And that's a pretty cool feeling. Moments like these, weeks like this, years like this - it's what life is all about. 

Has anyone else gone through a major life transition as of late? How are you holding up? 

September in Florida.

Ah, September 1st. The first month of fall for some. The sixth month of summer for Floridians.

However, that didn't stop me from buying pumpkin coffee creamer yesterday. And it sure hasn't stopped me from pinning all the fall-inspired fashion trends here. And it won't stop me from baking all the pumpkin things. Because around these parts, we like to live in denial...or delusion. Whatever works, honestly.

I've lived in Florida my entire life, and I often wonder what it would be like to live some place that has real seasons. A place where I can wear a scarf with purpose come the end of September; where I can bake pumpkin goodness with the windows open; where the leaves change and the air turns crisp and boots can be broken out before Christmas.

Maybe one day that will happen. I'm applying for a few out-of-state graduate school programs in just a few months, so it will be dependent on where I get in (and where I don't). Although I should probably pump the brakes on thoughts like that, considering our new apartment is hardly put together. Opaaaaa.

But seriously. I think it's every Floridian's dream to experience crunching leaves under our brown knee high boots, to buy a pumpkin spice latte to warm ourselves up and not just because it's the "season" to do so. Or maybe that's just me.

Then again, if you get a "fall," you probably also get snow, and I don't know how to drive in snow. Thus, I guess I'm destined to be a Floridian forever. California works, too. Pumpkin spice what?

Things I figured out during my second first day of college.

Yesterday was my first day going back to school. After months of planning and preparation and "self discovery" or whatever, I officially sat down in a lecture hall for my two in-person classes, Intro to Hearing Science and Applied Phonetics in Communication Disorders. Yowza. What did I get myself into?!

Walking around my alma mater, it felt like home, but in a different way. I know next to nobody on campus, versus a few years ago when I couldn't walk 20 steps without running into someone I know, or at least half knew. I kind of remembered where buildings were, but the campus bookstore was completely renovated. I thought I knew what it was like to be a college student, but in reality, I had no idea. But here is what I did find:

1. Despite the fact that I spent a good chunk of my initial college career in a Panhellenic sorority (not Delta Delta Delta, although clearly I have some good friends in it - I was a member of Zeta Tau Alpha), it is really intimidating to be sitting in the middle of a group of 100 women I don't know. Especially when the field you're getting into is unbearably competitive and you're all undoubtedly applying to the same grad schools. 
2. If you arrive on campus before 9 a.m., finding a parking spot is a nonissue. Want to add a little fun to the mix? Come to a sudden realization as you drive into the garage on the first day of school that you forgot to buy a parking permit.
3. Lack of air conditioning is probably the worst thing to happen to any lecture hall in Florida in the middle of August. Especially when both of your back-to-back classes are in the same un-air-conditioned lecture hall. I will never complain about a cold classroom ever again. I can always bring a cardigan or a blanket to class to warm up; I cannot, however, take off all my clothes to cool down. 
4. Wearing a backpack gives me a whole lot of nothing to do with my hands. I tried to picture myself walking around campus and all I could imagine was this:
   
   
   
   
   Minus the six pack, obviously.
5. I really do want to be involved in campus activities again, but I just couldn't bring myself to wait in a 75+ person line to get a free personalized Coca-Cola can with my name on it. I really wanted to, but waiting 30 minutes to do it? Nah, man. That ain't me.
6. It's awkward to explain to people that you've actually already graduated without sounding like you're trying to brag about it. 
7. Living five minutes away from campus was the best thing to ever happen to me "back in the day." Now my commute is 25 minutes on a major highway with tedious stop lights to boot? What do you mean it doesn't make sense for me to drive to the campus library at 1 a.m. to cram for tomorrow's final?! LOL #reallifesucks.
8. I get free tickets to football games again. Yaaaaasssss.
9. I get free (technically paid for) access to USF's amazing gym again. Double yaaaassss.
10. I will actually choose put my phone away during this semester. And sit up front. And ask questions. Because you can't tiptoe around knowing what you're doing as a speech pathologist. You have to truly know it, and I couldn't be more excited to learn.

Anyone else go back to school yesterday? How did it go? Let me know in the comments, if you're feelin' frisky!

The struggle is real this week.

This has been a trying week for me.

Between moving, trying to get this place together, taking the GRE for the second time in two months, and signing up for classes, it only makes sense that I get sick to close out the week in style.

"Welcome to class!" emails are already flooding my email inbox and to be honest, I don't feel ready for them. I've been mentally preparing myself to start school again for months, but now that it's finally here, it's overwhelming. It's also been hitting me the last few days just how hard this career path is going to be to get into, which has been taking a toll on my mental state as well.

Dealing with a severe lack of storage in our new place has been a struggle, but we're adjusting. We still have a television on the floor, no place to put our bathroom towels, and my fake Christmas tree hangin' out in the corner. And our bedroom curtains fell down two days after hanging them. So there's that.

All of that, and here I am, sick on the couch. It's been a week full of change, full of doubt, and full of frustration. Having said that, depending how I choose to look at it, it's also been a week full of potential. In short, I'm excited to be living with Ryan, I'm excited to start classes, and I'm excited to pursue a new career path. But I'm also scared shitless, which I think just comes with the territory of big things happening.

As David Bowie would say, "ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges." Here's to keeping my head above water for the next few days when all I want to do is take a nap.