Knowing that it isn't just getting through the next year of school, but getting through the next three years of school can feel excruciating. Looking at a bank account that constantly maintained a comma dwindle into the double digits is blind siding. Remembering that I already have a degree that can land me a $30-50k salary tomorrow and yet here I am trying to pick up take out shifts on my nights off makes me want to gauge my eyes out with a spork.
And yet, here I am, doing it all again on my own dime; spending most of my down time doing school work and trying not to offend my friends when I tell them I can't do anything because I have to pay rent. As spoiled and privileged as it sounds, I'm in a position I've quite literally never been in before, and I don't have to be in it. I'm choosing to be. Which to be honest, feels a little crazy.
We all have bad weeks, and it's been a couple of rough ones for me. At the same time, I don't want to look back in three years and think, "if only I'd stuck with it." I just hope this will all be worth it in the end, because I'm less than a month into all this and I might actually be losing my mind.