Wednesday, September 16, 2015

On transitioning.




This whole "transitioning into a new career" thing is hard. It's also exciting. But this week? This week it is just plain makes-me-want-to-cry-in-my-closet hard.

Knowing that it isn't just getting through the next year of school, but getting through the next three years of school can feel excruciating. Looking at a bank account that constantly maintained a comma dwindle into the double digits is blind siding. Remembering that I already have a degree that can land me a $30-50k salary tomorrow and yet here I am trying to pick up take out shifts on my nights off makes me want to gauge my eyes out with a spork.

And yet, here I am, doing it all again on my own dime; spending most of my down time doing school work and trying not to offend my friends when I tell them I can't do anything because I have to pay rent. As spoiled and privileged as it sounds, I'm in a position I've quite literally never been in before, and I don't have to be in it. I'm choosing to be. Which to be honest, feels a little crazy.

We all have bad weeks, and it's been a couple of rough ones for me. At the same time, I don't want to look back in three years and think, "if only I'd stuck with it." I just hope this will all be worth it in the end, because I'm less than a month into all this and I might actually be losing my mind.

2 comments:

  1. Try your best to keep in mind the end goal of all your hard work. I totally understand that the work is horrible (I worked all the way through my upper school life and will be starting another job now I'm at uni) but it's great that you've got the level of independence to take care of yourself. It's also amazing that you're trying to better yourself and not settling for the education you already have. That's admirable.

    Keep it up Samantha, everything will work out in the end.

    Bethany | curlyandwordy.blogspot.co.uk x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the encouraging words! It's really appreciated, and definitely needed. :) XO

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