Tuesday, July 7, 2015

How to save TONS! of money each month.

July has hardly started and it's already been an expensive month. As the old saying goes, "life happens," and it's just been a busy couple of weeks going out to dinner with friends, picking up little knick knacks here and there for our future apartment, and planning my roommate's bachelorette festivities for next month. I've never been one to stick to a budget, but now that I'm all of 24 years old, I figured if not now, when? Thus, I came up with a few concrete ideas that I thought you all might be interested in. After all, who doesn't want to save a bit of cash? Read on and find out how to save tons (TONS!) of money each month:

Learn to hate alcohol. Specifically margaritas. Turn down any and all invitations to go out to dinner with friends because we all know it will only end in 48+ ounces worth of margaritas. And margaritas can get expensive, even on happy hour. In a nutshell, become allergic to margaritas and you will save money.

Don't have a car. Seriously, walk everywhere. This will help you lose weight too, and then you can cancel your gym membership and save even more money. If you live in Florida where it gets to be 100+ degrees in the summer, even better. The more you walk, the more you sweat, the more you lose weight, the more you don't spend $300 to replace spark plugs.

Stop being likable. If you're likable, you develop friendships, and if you develop friendships, those friends want to hang out with you. If you make friends with the right people, all they want to do is drink margaritas with you, and it all goes downhill from there. Review number one and repeat.

Find a nice hole in the ground and then live there. This will save you a lot of money on rent, and I'm pretty sure you don't have to take out a mortgage (double check on that for me). Now you won't even be remotely tempted to buy anything whilst strolling through Marshall's home section because you have no need for new bath towels. Because you don't have a bath.

...I literally just told you that I suck at budgeting, what makes you think I could provide you with a real list of ways to save money? You're silly. But for real. Any ideas on how to make a budget and stick to it?


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